Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Bond, James Bond. (Er, no...that doesn't sound quite right...).

Actually, you can just call me Wicky - short for Wicked StepMonster. You'll pardon me if I don't answer immediately when you call me, this is a new name for which I have recently been dubbed - as recently as this summer, as a matter of fact. So, for those of you who catch on quickly (or have some kind of prophetic visions), you can probably surmise the purpose of this blog. I hope you'll entertain some background information before you trot away. I promise that this will be good - some will even say "juicy".

I have been in a relationship with my husband for 10 years. He is divorced (uh, not from me...yet) and a father of two girls. I have never been married (uh, I mean, until now) and have no children. Shockingly enough, I'm not even a child of divorce (and this has perplexed me, but I'll save that for another posting).

Since day 1, I've embraced my stepdaugthers and...get this...even the ex-wife (from here on, referred to lovingly as Red Neck Stupid B**** - RNSB). For those of you who are not in this type of extended family situation, it may seem like no big deal that I continued to allow my husband to help the RNSB, take calls from her at all hours (in other words, have unlimited access to him even though SHE left him), have dinner with her and her family and the kids, etc. etc - not to mention paying a shocking amount of child support (don't get me wrong -  I'm a full supporter of child support; however, not when the RNSB is buying franchises to secure her retirement someday with MY money - again, a posting for another day. I digress.) Well, let me tell you - I'm finding out from MANY WSMSW's (Wicked StepMonster Second Wives) that this is NOT allowed in their house. As a matter of fact, I have not found ONE - not ONE - 2nd wife that allows this behavior with the Ex. I've worked hard (and kept my opinions to myself - which is EXTREMELY hard for me) to have a "normal" relationship with the RNSB (why? I know...) and have created a wonderful situation for the girls. Imagine 4 parents who get along and love you! WOW!

Until this summer I have had a GREAT (I mean, REALLY great) relationship with the 16-year old (We'll dub her PRINCESS). The relationship with the youngest - 13 years -  is marginal (think CUPIE DOLL face with a CHUCKIE DOLL soul - we'll dub her CUPIE). She has always blamed me for her parents split (even though she was too young to remember them living together and I didn't even know either of them at the time). I have endured 10 years of soul-searing insults from the youngest and stupid BS from RNSB - and let me tell you, all the stuff I've ever wanted to say to RNSB and CUPIE built up, bubbled underneath, and then finally boiled over in a huge volcanic explosion this summer.

However, I'll save that story for another time. If you are interested, please return soon. I have enough to make a Jackie Collins movie of the week mini-series seem bland. If you're not interested, then return to your porn surfing and online purchases. I'll still be here when you need me again.

Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

Bitterly Yours,

Wicky