Distopia

According to me...

I've always thought of myself as someone who deals with depression, but very mild depression. I've always seemed to be able to find something wrong with anything and everything. I can also remember very vividly the times that I've been embarrased or upset, but the good times are sometimes faint. Is this typical? I wouldn't know. But it shouldn't be.

     Hi. My name... well, you can call me Spider. I'm thirteen years old. My story is probably different then the story that you would hear from "typical" thirteen-year-old girls. I'll start off by telling you a very simple, yet important, fact. After I tell you this, you MUST remember this. When you're reading future posts of mine, ALWAYS remember this when you're thinking that you don't agree with my opinion or what I did. I'm very shy, I hardly talk to anybody because I have no self confidence. Though sometimes I get a little prideful about one of my talents, I do not have an ounce of confidence in me. You'd think this the opposite because I have a public diary for the world to read and laugh at, but actually this diary is because of that. I've never had anyone that I felt like I could talk to. Not one person.

     I've tried writing diaries in the past, probably every kind of diary that you can imagine. But what I need is feedback, I need to know what someone else thinks. Talking to myself for hours on end in a book does not do me any good. The only thing a diary like that does is remind me of the things I've struggled with. Whereas here, you can comment. PLEASE comment. I doubt anyone will read this very often or at all. But if you do, I want to know!

     I guess I shouldn't make this entry very long, I really should be doing research for this science fair project I'm doing. I didn't ever want to do the science fair, quite the opposite. But for my biology class the teacher is making me enter. I can already tell me project is going to suck, but she asked for it. I have to do research tonight because I'm a little behind on it, and she needs the notebook by tomorrow for the progress report, and blah, blah, blah. Interesting, right? Anyways, I should've turned it in two weeks ago. (By the way, I'm homeschooled and I only have classes once a week, so two weeks isn't as bad as it sounds. I'll explain more in the future when I have time.) But it has to be so detailed... guh, I hate details. This stupid project is so hard, and the worst part is the research--what I should be doing now. I tried looking at the library once, but I couldn't find much of anything. So I have to resort to doing all the research online. If you've ever done research online, you know how difficult it is. And for some reason, you can get 5,000,000 matches for your search, yet none of them are what you're looking for.

    Anyways, this is a short entry. So if for some reason you'd like to keep reading "The Adventures of Miss Self-Indulged" then you've been warned. As for me, I'm going to go make dinner, THEN I'll do research.  

Until then,

-Spider